I have never seen the problem you described before and I have changed CMOS batteries literally 100s of times. So I have no explanation.
You said you grounded yourself and that is great - but I don't see where you unplugged the computer from the wall first. Did you do that?
Regardless, removing the battery simply resets the BIOS back to their default settings. It still should have booted past POST (power on self test) and then hit attempt to load an OS from the first boot drive.
So I am really puzzled here and sorry for all your troubles.
BTW, you are right that it is highly unlikely you installed a brand new but dead battery - but twice in the last year or so it happened to me. I fear like so many things mass produced these days, quality assurance before products leave the factory is something cut to keep profits up.
