1. Check for updates as usual.
2. After a few minutes of inactivity while checking for updates, open services.msc and restart the Windows Update service, but do not close the Windows Update window while you do that.
3. You should see a different message.
Oh, about the updates... none yet. Haven't had a good opportunity to reboot it yet. I am on vacation this week, I'll probably ping you next Monday. Thank you for all your help!
Post reboot, it already had 10 updates ready to rock. Not wanting to tempt fate, I didn't do another check. Installing updates now. I'll let you know if we're good after they're done and a reboot.